Zombies Still Make Terrible First Time Home Buyers

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I was talking to a friend recently about the TV series "Walking Dead." One of the main plot lines of the show revolves around zombies. So I wondered (as I often do) whether the chances of a zombie becoming a first time home buyer have improved over the last 6 months or so. Come to find out, no. Frankly, no matter how hard they try, zombies simply do not make good first time home buyers.

You can argue all you want on the differences between James Gunn's zombies who can run and the classic George A Romero creatures who shuffle and moan. You could could make points on either side of that debate all day. Plus throw in the "Walking Dead" zombies that become the undead without being attacked by another creature and you have hours of debate. But the undead make terrible clients for real estate agents and mortgage consultants alike.

1. Zombies eat the flesh of any people close to them. Try taking a zombie out house hunting and all they will do is hunt you.
2. Zombies have little left of their human thought process. Try explaining down payments and credit scores to a zombie. 
3. Have you seen how zombies dress? Clothes full of holes. You'll never get a zombie to keep important papers. Can't be done.
4. Zombies are slow (they drag their feet). Real estate agents like to work quickly. It's a bad combination.
5. Zombies are generally one-thought creatures: braaaaaaiiiins. Try getting them to consider different mortgage loan options.
6. Zombies are dirty. Take them into a nice open house on a Sunday and they'll leave a trail of blood and grave dirt behind. That's bad for business.

So if you're not a zombie, you're already a leg up on becoming a first time home buyer. You can actually get started on becoming one this year by getting your credit in order and saving up a down payment. You can also download "The Essential Guide to Buying Your First Home" at the button below. That's another thing zombies don't do: research. Educating yourself will help turn you into a powerful buyer.

(zombie photo: Flickr user kevin dooley)