The First Mortgage Company for Zombies
Welcome to the first mortgage company for zombies. It has been said by some that zombies make terrible first time home buyers. But we that to be just rude. Zombies are people, too. Well sort of...but they have feelings. At least we think they do. In any case, zombies need a place to live and we feel that if a zombie's credit and finances are in order then they are welcome to find financing here.
As the first mortgage company for the living dead, we will have to make sure we are well-equipped for zombies. Since the living dead do not seem to be able to climb stairs, we have an elevator in our office. Yes it's also an elevator for the disabled, so we won't mix the two. That would be dangerous.
This brings us to our next preparation for the zombie clientèle: Safety. We take the safety of our employees seriously. Because of the history of zombies and their appetite for flesh, we will have a special office for filling out paperwork where zombies will feel welcome and our mortgage consultants will be safe. Thick glass will separate the 2 parties, but we will work hard to make the zombie side of the room comfortable and welcoming.
Because we are the first mortgage company for zombies, we expect some disbelief in this plan. However our team of experts has researched the long history of the living dead and we owe a major debt to the work of long time zombie experts George A Romero and Tom Savini, as well as more recent researchers like James Gunn. Their work in zombie documentation is unrivaled.
If you're a zombie or you know a zombie, we'd be happy to help finance the right home. We don't believe the zombies make terrible first time home buyers. We just think they need a specialized mortgage lender to help!
(Back to reality)
The point here is that while we take mortgage lending very seriously, we also like to show a little personality and have some fun. AmeriFirst Home Mortgage specializes in first time home buyers, not zombies. However we do have an accessibility elevator at our corporate headquarters in Portage, Michigan. We also have mortgage consultants ready to help on your unique situation.
Whether it's your first home and you have no down payment saved up, or you're interested in a fixer-upper that you want to put your personality stamp on and call it your dream home, we offer a lot of mortgage loan options for you.
Want to get know a real first mortgage company? Download the free eBook "The Only Mortgage Loan Options Guide You Need." Get to know your options with AmeriFirst Home Mortgage. Let us help you find the right option for the right house at the right time.
(zombie photo from zombie by uncherished)