The First Time Home Buyer's Guide to: Making Halloween a Treat

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You don't want the kids in your neighborhood to look at you as "those people" do you? You don't want to spend November 1st cleaning up eggs and toilet paper. You'd much rather be the hit of the neighborhood, right? The house that every Halloween, the kids say "Those are the cool people." As a first time home buyer, you've probably neglected to even consider this. We're here to help. Behold, the first time home buyer's guide to making Halloween a treat. In other words, a how-to manual on kicking off your tenure in this community on a high note.

Sure, you were a kid not so long ago. you've seen plenty of TV shows and movies showing you what NOT to do when it comes to Halloween and handing out candy. But instead of going through all of that to try and plan this year - on top of settling into your first home - let's go over it here.

The Do's of Halloween:

• Spring for the big candy bars. You can buy them in bulk at Sam's Club, Costco and warehouse stores like that. Go for it - it's only once a year. Plus the leftovers - if there are any - go in your lunch for the next week or so.
• Have more than enough candy. You don't want to pause the festivities in the middle to run down to the corner store only to find there's no more good candy - only little Tootsie Rolls and those generic peanut butter things no one seems to like (disclaimer: I like them for the record).
• Smile and have fun. Acting like kids begging at your door for candy they didn't earn only makes you seem like the old "Get off my lawn" cranky neighbor you used to terrorize with toilet paper.
• Dress up. This goes back to the last Do. Dress up and have some fun. You're too old to go out and trick-or-treat, but you can have fun at your new house! G.I. Joe and Superman never go out of style.
• Have a treat for the occasional mom or dad who dresses up with their kids. I like Guinness. Just sayin'.
• Decorate your first home for Halloween. Some fun ideas: fake gravestones in the yard with severed arms and feet, big cobwebs in the trees and scarecrows.
• Play music. Fun Halloween music and creepy stuff - both wins in the music column. 
• Ask kids who or what they are, and tell them it's an awesome costume. Even if it's not. They love to interact with strangers handing out candy.

The Don't's of Halloween:

• Scare the little kids with elaborate tricks. They usually have older siblings or young parents who will exact revenge.
• Have too much fun with Captain Morgan or PBR. Smelling and acting like Drunk Uncle Doug might have its place at the work Halloween party, but not when there's elementary aged kids knocking on your door.
• Leave candy in a bowl for the "honor system." Would you take only one if it was you? Really?
• Play death metal music. Too scary.
• Play Justin Bieber music. Too scary.
• Tell older kids they're too old to trick-or-treat. It's a set-up. You'll be cleaning up eggs and TP November 1st. Instead, smile and tell them to have a safe night. This is where a back up of the fun-size candy bars could come in handy though.
• If you're a woman, don't dress as the stereotypical "sexy" anything. This will only bring the teenage boys to your house - and they're too old to trick-or-treat. It will also make the little kids' dads ogle you and get in trouble. If you're a guy and you want to dress up like this - clear it with your mom first. Or wife.

Halloween as a first time home buyer doesn't have to be scary. Have some fun this Halloween. If you're worried about it, or you have an aversion to handing out candy to cute little Angry Birds, Phineas & Ferb or Disney Princess' then maybe you could find a party to go to instead. Just make sure you keep the lights off and don't put out a bowl of candy. We already covered that.

Do you have tips for other first time home owners on their first Halloween? Leave them below in the comments!